I'll Wait For You
by SHUFFLENESS
Summary: Part 1 of chapter 5 is up.AxL. I looked up at him and saw the blaze and fury in his emerald eyes. As he stared down at me I could feel the panic flare inside me. I’ve never seen him look this upset, and it frightened me.
1. Chapter 1

**I'll Wait For You**

Everyday it's been the same I would come to _our_ big empty mansion from a hard day at the studio waiting patiently for him. For 5 long months I waited for his return I don't know why, I didn't love him and didn't care about what he did, but I guess it was because I didn't want to be alone. I know he doesn't love he never had, but he still wanted me to wait for him and I did because he asked me to.

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"_Listen Lacus we don't even love each other….." He started lamely. I sat there in the back sit of the black limo with my arms crossed over my chest looking out the window of the moving vehicle. We just came back from a party to celebrate our engagement and I was pissed, he sat beside me patiently waiting for an answer._

_I finally spoke, "Well it's not like I want this marriage anymore than you do". I said calmly trying not to let my emotions get to me._

"_So you're ok with this?" he asked. I didn't say anything to him then I heard him sliding closer to me and I rolled my eyes in disgust, "So if things don't workout you'll wait for me". I shrugged my shoulders and continued looking out the window. He turned my face so I could look at him and unexpectedly he kissed me. It was intoxicating he was so close I could smell his cologne and I shivered a little. When he finally broke the kiss I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me._

"_How long are you going to be gone for?" I asked trying to get him to stop smiling._

"_I'll be back when I'm back... is that okay with you", He said coolly._

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His Flight was supposed to be coming in this evening but I couldn't bring myself to go and get him so I sent a limo to pick him up. I was so nervous pacing back and forth in_ our_ living room; to calm my self down I decided to get a drink from the fridge.

I heard the limo pull up into the driveway, I looked through the window in _our_ living room and I saw him he was clad in all black expect for the green shirt he wore. He looked good; it looked like he had been working out too. He turned around and saw me, he smiled and waved I rolled my eyes and went upstairs. I plopped down on _our _bed and looked up at the ceiling. I didn't want to see him right now, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and the door opened. I rolled on my side so that my back was to him, I didn't want to talk to him…. not now. I heard him sit down on the bed.

"What's wrong Lacus?" he had the nerve to ask, I ignored him and was about to get up and go into the bathroom when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to sit on the bed.

"Could you let go of my wrist!" I said hotly he let go and moved his hand to my neck and started stroking it.

"So I don't get a kiss from my beautiful fiancé" he purred in my ears. I had enough, I stood up and faced him "Why don't you go back to**_ her_**" I said bitterly. Feeling quite please for standing up to him I spun on my heel and stomped into the bathroom.

I was about to close the door when I heard him say "Listen I came back to try and settle things between us not to upset you. I'm sorry I left but…." He had my attention now, I came out of the bathroom and went to go sit beside him on the bed I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes taking in the scent of his cologne. We sat like that for quite sometime, to break the long silence between us I spoke "How long are you planning on staying?" I asked.

"Do you even want me to stay?" he said coldly. Why does he always have to be like this like everything's my fault, I got off the bed and was about to go downstairs when he grabbed my wrist again and pulled me back on the bed. He forced me on my back and was on me in an instant he cupped my face and kissed me so passionately.

One part of me wanted to desperately push him off me but another part never wanted it to end. I wanted to end it but my body betrayed me as he started planting kisses all over my neck and trailing further down and back up to claim my lips once more. When he broke the kiss I was panting like crazy he rolled off me and sat up, now I was confused he looked back at me and smiled. "I'm going out okay I'll be back tomorrow", he said as he stood up. 'Tomorrow' I heard the word repeating in my head, "Did I do something wrong? Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" I asked him calmly trying not to get upset. He didn't even look back, he just stood there like he was waiting for me to say something so I did "Athrun what's wrong with you. First you act all lovey-dovey and then it's like your upset with me. What's your problem!" I yelled I was so confused and upset.

"Like I said I'll be back tomorrow." And without looking back he left.

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_A/N: This is my first fanfic so cut me some slack on the reviews please and Thank-You_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I couldn't sleep not without him, when he finally came back to me I thought I would never have to be alone again, but I guess some things never change. I got up and looked at the clock on the nightstand, 1:00 a.m. I put on my robe and went downstairs to get a drink, I was about to go back upstairs when I heard a click and the front door opened.

It was him, "Athrun" I said, and he looked at me and gave me a half smile and closed the door behind him. "I thought you would be asleep by now" he said and yawned, he looked really tired. He walked past me and went upstairs, I decided to follow suite and when I reached _our_ bedroom he was wearing his boxers and marina. I hopped into bed hoping that he would do the same but instead he took a pillow a blanket and was about to leave the room, "Athrun where are you going?" I asked him waiting patiently for an answer. "I'm going to sleep in the guest room", He said and left the room.

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I cracked my eyes open and was instantly sorry as the bright sunlight stabbed into my eyes blinding me. I got up and went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror at my tear stained face and blood shot eyes. I've been crying the whole night until I finally fell asleep, I turned on the shower took off my clothes and went in. When I was finished I felt relaxed and refreshed, I put on a pair of faded blues jeans and a purple fitted t-shirt and I decided to leave my hair down. I went downstairs to go and eat something before I left, I thought Athrun would have been awake by now but I didn't see him anywhere. I quickly toasted a bagel buttered it and left before he got up, not wanting to see him or talk to him. 

When I made it to the studio it was 12:30 I was earlier than usual, I didn't want to waste time I wanted to finish my recording before the end of the week. Michael, my manager has been on my case for weeks complaining because he thinks I'm slacking off. Well it was true, some days I wouldn't even come to the studio or if I did I would only stay for an hour or two. I've been in the recording booth for about 2 hours, my manger kept telling me go for a break. But I refused, I wanted to get everything done today so I wouldn't have to come to the studio for the rest of the week.

I finally finished and was on my way home. My limo pulled up in front _our_ big mansion. I unlocked the door and went inside, it was dark "Athrun" I called out "Are you home". I didn't hear an answer I walked into the living room and saw him sitting on the couch talking on the phone, I chose not to bother him and went upstairs into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes and plopped down on the bed staring at the ceiling, I had a lot on my mind ever since Athrun came back. When I' m around him things just don't feel right, I tried to shrug the thought away but so many unanswered questions just kept popping up into my head.

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"_Athrun where are you going?" I asked frustrated, I didn't know why he was doing this **again.** I was sitting on the bed with the bed sheet wrapped around my naked form, my hair was a mess and my face was still flushed from the activity that took place. But who had time to worry about that he was leaving again and I didn't know why, he never told me anything. And every time he would leave I would always feel guilty believing that it was my fault our relationship was the way it was. I watched as he got dressed and I could feel the tears again, "Athrun why are you doing this. Why are you leaving?**"** I choked out, I felt hot tears slide down my cheeks. Why couldn't he see I was hurting, why couldn't he see that I love him. I crawled across the bed and grabbed his wrists and stopped him from buttoning up his shirt. He looked back at me and I could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears, he sat down on the bed and ran his hand through his hair._

"_I'm sorry Lacus. I-I love her and I want to be with her" he croaked out, I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears not wanting to hear anymore of it. His words repeatedly echoed in my mind and my head hurt. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight trying to calm me down, we sat like that for a long time. I pulled away from him and looked into his green eyes, they were full of so much sadness. I guess he was hurting too._

"_Athrun I love you" I sobbed out. I didn't know what else to say, I've given him my body and love freely I didn't know what else he wanted. Or maybe it isn't me he wants._

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"Why do things have to be so complicated with you" I said out loud to myself, I wanted to know the truth about why he came back and if he was staying for good, because I'm tired of waiting. I heard a knock at the door and I jumped being a little caught off guard.

"Lacus can I come in?" it was him

"Yes you can", I said softly hoping that he didn't hear me so he would leave, but I guess he did because the door opened. "What is it?" I asked, he closed the door and sat down beside me on the bed. He didn't say anything much less even look at me, I hated it when he did that.

"Lacus we need to talk"

"Yeah we do" I answered almost immediately, he looked at me and smiled.

"Do you know why I came back?" he asked me, I shook my head not trusting my voice and waited for him to continue. He took my hand in his and just held it, "You know that I loved Cagalli right" he said lamely

"It wasn't hard to notice that" I said coldly why was he bringing her up, I pulled my hand away and crossed my arms over my chest. He looked at me and sighed.

"Lacus it was hard for me to choose and you know that" he said and looked at me with sadness and hurt in his eyes. I didn't know where he was going with this but I decided to keep my mouth shout and wait for him to continue. "But anyway the reason I came back was because I realized that Cagalli isn't the one for me and-"

"And I' am" I said finishing his sentence, "You really expect me to believe that Athrun! 5 months ago before you left after I poured my heart out to you, it took you five months to realize how much I loved you how much I wanted to be with you!" I said practically screaming at him. I stood up and faced him and the whole time he couldn't even look me in the eye, I bowed myhead and I felt a tear slide down my cheek I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. "You know Athrun, if you can't even look me in the eye and tell me all these stuff then that shows me that you really don't love me. That I was just a doormat for you" I said coldly, I waited for a reply and didn't get one. So I left, without looking back.

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**A/N: So how was it I kinda didn't like it that much, but don't worry next chapter will be longerand better Ipromise. And thanks for the reviews everyone -**


	3. Chapter 3

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**A/N:Those of you that haven't noticed I have changed the Tittle of my story from "Lacus Stories" to "I'll wait for you". **

**Mrs. Zala**

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**Chapter 3**

_I didn't know how long it was since I left the house, when I left I didn't have a clue on where I was going. But I had to leave I couldn't stay there right now. I needed to get away from him. Even though it was really late the streets of Plant was pretty lively clubs were open, couples were walking together holding hands. I turned a corner and I saw him, it was him, Athrun, his back was turned to me so I couldn't see his face but I knew it was him it had to be him. I walked closer to him and stopped when I saw a certain blonde standing in front of him smiling, tears were streaming down her face but she was still smiling. I walked closer to them but as I was getting closer they kept moving further and further away. I started running trying to catch up to them but it was no us, I could feel tears stinging at the back of my eyes _

"_No Athrun don't go…… don't leave me again" I yelled, tears were now flowing freely from my eyes and the image of them started to go blurry. I stopped running when they were out of sight, then everything turned pitch black and the only thing visible was myself. I fell to my knees and started sobbing I shook my head trying to wake up from this awful dream but it was no use._

"_I told you he would leave you, but you didn't listen" I manly voice came from behind me, I jumped to my feet in fear and turned around to see a man clad in all black. He had brown shaggy hair and purple eyes._

"_Kira" I whispered_

"_Lacus why can't you love me like your suppose to, can't you see were destined for each other". He said taking a few steps closer to me, I tried to move back but I couldn't it was like I was paralyzed. He grabbed my shoulders roughly and pulled me closer to him, "Why couldn't you just stay with me?" he whispered._

"_I'm sorry Kira I couldn't I-I just couldn't love you the way you wanted me to because of-"_

"_Athrun" he said finishing my sentence, he grunted and before I knew it he pushed me hard to the floor and I fell on my side painfully. "Know one can love you the way I did, not even Athrun" and before he could say another word his form shattered to pieces like broking glass. I broke down and started crying again, I didn't know what else to do I wanted to wake up but I couldn't._

"_Why are you crying?" I heard another voice from behind me, I recognized that voice. I quickly stood to my feet and saw him, my savior, my Athrun. He extended his arm to me and I hesitantly took it scared that if I got any closer he would move even further away from me._

"_A-Athrun" I said wiping my tears away with the back of my hand, he gave me a warm smile and pulled me into his arms._

"_Your safe now you don't have to cry anymore" he said whispering in my ear and at that moment I felt safe and not so lonesome. He pulled away from me and gave me a bright smile; I couldn't help but smile back at him now I really didn't want my dream to end, "Lacus will you wait for me?" I looked at him confused; I didn't know what he was talking about butI agreed to his question anyway. Before I could say another word his form disappeared right before my eyes. I tried looking for him but it was no use it was way to dark to see anything, I started calling out his name but it was no use, I feel to my knees and started crying again there was nothing I could do._

"ATHRUN!"

My eyes quickly flew open and I sat up in my bed andI was drenched in sweat my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out my chest. I lookedat the window and saw that it was still dark outside, I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. I jumped as the bedroom door flew open and Athrun rushed to my side. He was wearing a pair of sweat shorts with no shirt on. "Lacus are you alright?" he asked stroking my hair, I looked at him and then around the room. _'I remembered leaving the house but not coming back'._

"How did I get here?" I asked confused, I looked at him and saw him scowling. He moved is hand from my hair to stroke my cheek.

"When you left" he started, he looked at me with a pained expression on his face, he was probably upset that I left. I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes, when I opened them I saw that his pained expression had melted away. "An hour after you left the house I went looking for you, I saw your car parked inside the driveway and you were sleeping in it. So I brought you back upstairs." he said smiling and removing his hand from my cheek,

"Oh" I said looking around the room trying to avoid his piercing green eyes.

"Lacus I'm sorry about before. I…." he whispered, I looked up at him andplaced my hand on his cheek, and smiled at him. He moved my hand from his cheek and pulled me into his arms, I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes. I buried my face in his neck and he slightly pulled away from me to rest his forehead against mine. He brushed his lips against mine in a feather light touch, he then held my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. I pulled us further down on the bed and moved my hands to caress his bare back, he broke the kiss and started planting kisses all over my face and neck. He rolled us over so that I was on top and slid his hands under my nightgown to caress my exposed thigh. I gave a little gasp from where my face was buried in his neck, he started pulling my nightgown further up and paused when it was half way up. I looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile and bent my head down to nip at his neck, but he gently pushed me off him to sit up. "Lacus I can't" he said getting up and heading for the door. I quickly got up not wanting him to leave and blocked his path.

"Athrun" I said hugging him, "I-I don't want to be alone" I whispered into his chest.

"Lacus I-"

"Please Athrun" I said cutting him off and looking into his green orbs, he gave a sigh of defeat and I smiled happily. I took his hand and lead him back to the bed, we laid there holding each other not saying a word. I looked up at him and saw that he was asleep. I snuggled down closer to him resting my head on his chest listening to his steady heart beat. I smiled secretively happy that I wasn't alone. Then I too feel asleep.

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It was dark and gloomy when I woke up I looked at the clock beside me on the nightstand _1:00 p.m_. I yawned and stretched like a cat, I was still tired from last night. I rolled on my side and saw Athrun still peacefully sleeping. I brushed a strand of his disheveled hair out his face with the back of my hand and smiled when he started to stir. My eyes traveled from his handsome face to his well sculpted abs, '_he's gorgeous'. _

I frowned a little remembering what he said to me last night before I left the house, _"You know I loved Cagalli right. Lacus it was hard for me to choose you know that"._ I shook my head trying to get those words out of my mind but it was know use, more unanswered questions kept popping up in my head. Athrun started to stir again, I looked over at him and his eyes were open.

"Good morning sleepy head" I said with a half smile, he smiled back at me and yawned.

"What are you doing today?" he asked resting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes.

"Nothing why?" I didn't say anything more just waited for him to continue.

"Because Yzak called yesterday and invited us to his engagement party", I gave him a confused look and he chuckled. "I know what you mean Yzak is not really the type to go and get married. He's getting married to Shio Hahnenfub, and he wants to know if we would like to come".

"Are you going?" I asked hoping he would say yes.

"If you go", he said and smiled at me. He was always smiling know a days, sometimes I just can't help but smile too. He's still the same Athrun I knew long ago, but now he's like a different person he's not as cold as he use to be. "Well are you or not".

"Sure I'll go, it's not like I have anything better to do". I said. He sighed and shoved his face into his pillow. "Well I'm going to go and take a shower, oh and by the way when is this party?", I asked.

"Tomorrow" he said getting up and leaving the room. I looked at him wide-eyed. When I was finish taking a shower and getting dressed, I headed downstairs and saw Athrun dressed as well talking on the phone. "Yeah I'm on my way. No I'm sure she won't mind, are you sure. Well are you at least going to visit me". I poured myself a bowl of cereal and waited for him to get off the phone. "Yeah can't wait to see you guys, it's been a long time. Anyway look out for me", he said hanging up the phone and heading for the door.

"Athrun where are you going", I said from where I was in the kitchen.

"Out", he said and quickly and went out the door. I went to the window and watched as he pulled out the driveway andtook offdown the street. I sighed and went into the living and plopped down on the couch.

"What's happened to us", I said silently to myself. I threw my arm over my eyes and tried to remember the good times me and Athrun shared.

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"_Athrun you don't have to take me out every holiday you know" I said smiling, we always went out on a special occasion, my birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas. Almost every holiday he would take me out and shower me with all these expensive gifts._

"_What if I want to, is it such a crime to want to take out my beautiful princess" he said nuzzling my neck as we boarded the glass elevator of the most expensive restaurant in Plants. _

_"Isn't it beautiful?" I said admiring the city lights as they sparkled in the dark night. I walked closer to elevator to get a better look; it was the first week of February and today was my birthday. It had been snowing very lightly this whole week compare to last's. I turned back to look at Athrun, his hands were stuffed in his pocket and he was staring floor, it looked like he was in deep thought. "Athrun, what's wrong?" I asked concerned, this wasn't** my** usual Athrun. Usually I would always turn and see him watching me, especially since I was wearing his favorite dress he bought me. "Athrun" I said again, he still didn't answer. He looked up at me and moved to where I was standing in the elevator, he looked at me and pressed the stop button on the elevator._

_After a long silence he finally spoke, "Lacus would you stay with me forever, no matter what?"_

"_Yes" I said without hesitation, he looked at me and smiled. He pulled me into his arms and planted a kiss to my forehead. He rested his forehead on top of my head and I closed my eyes and took in the sent of his cologne. He pressed the stop button again and the elevator started moving, he cupped my face and placed a soft kiss to my lips. When the kiss ended he pulled me back in his arms and whispered in my ear, "You look cute when you blush", he said. He started laughing when he saw how red my face was, I tried to cover my reddened face with my hands but he pulled them away. The elevator finally stopped. _

_Finally reaching our destination he encircled his arm around my waist as the doors slowly opened; he pulled me into his arms once again. "I love you Lacus" he said tenderly, and kissed me once more._

"_I love you too"_

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I felt tears slide down my cheeks and quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand, "Why do I love you so much?" I said out loud. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door, "I wonder who that could be". I padded barefoot to the front door and opened it and was greeted with a bright smile.

"Hi Lacus, it's been a long time". My eyes widened and my mouth opened and closed like a fish

"Kira".

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**A/N:Finally I've finished chap 3, sorry it took so long but school got into the way and stuff. Hopefully I'll be able to finishe this story before Christmas so I can start on a new one. Anyway Review and tell me what ya think. Oh and by the way I know Lacus kinda OOC but yeah. I tried to make her fit with the story so i hope you guyz don't mind.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: bows Thank-you everyone for the reviews.Really appreciate it. Finally I got around to updating. Im surprisedI never got one bad review since this is my first fanfic. Anway Thank-you everyone once again for the reviews. And don't worry everyone I willNOT change the couple's in the Fanfic, cause AXL ROCK! Enjoy**_

_**Mrs. Zala**_

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**Chapter 4**

We sat there in silence for quite a long time waiting for Athrun to return. It's been so long since I've seen Kira, his appearance hasn't changed one bit but there was something different about him, or maybe it was just me. I put my teacup on the coffee table and attempted to start a conversation for the fourth time. "So how's Orb?" I asked looking anywhere but his eyes. The whole time he was here all he did was stare at me from across the room.

"Orb is great, Cagalli is handling it well". He said with a faint smile, "Enough about me, how are you and Athrun doing?" he said, I figured he would ask this question but I was prepared. I gave him a bright smile "Were fine" I said, more like lied. He gave me a concerned look, then smiled and nodded. Just then the doorbell rang, and I excused myself to go get it. It was probably Athrun. As soon as I opened the door I was greeting with a loud shriek.

"LACUS!" the brunette shrieked in my ears before catching me in a bear hug, "Look at you, still beautiful as always". She said looking me up and down.

"Miriallia" I said surprised. Dearka was right behind her to greet me also, he gave a low whistle "Damn Athrun sure is one lucky guy" he said hugging me. I smiled happily glad to see my friends. "Athrun didn't tell me you guys where coming to visit", I said folding my arms.

"Well we really came because of Yzak's engagement party, but we decided to come and visit you too" Milly said removing her shoes and joining Kira in the living room with Dearka following behind.

"ATHRUN! Aren't you going to help me with the suitcases", I turned to see a certain blonde struggling with bags in the driveway.

I gasped for air when I saw who it was, _'Cagalli', _I couldn't believe my eyes what was she doing here. I saw Athrun briskly rush to her side to help her with the suitcases and duffle bags. I quickly ran upstairs to my room and locked the door behind me. I covered my mouth with my hand and slid to the ground, "Why is she here?" I asked myself, "In my home". I didn't know what Ahtrun was thinking by bringing her here but he better have a good explanation for this. I silently sobbed _'why' _I asked myself over and over. I heard a knock on the door and the doorknob handle twisting and turning.

"Lacus are you alright", Milly said. I didn't want to go downstairs, but I had no choice my guess were waiting for me. Besides if I were to stay up here any longer they would probably send Athrun upstairs for me and that would just make things even worst. He's the last person I want to see right now, but I knew I would have to face him eventually.

"Yes I'm coming, just a second" I said quickly getting up and walking to the bathroom to wash my tearstained face. I went to go and open the door, "Are you alright" the brown haired girl asked concerned. "I'm fine", I said giving her a reassuring smile, and we walked down the stairs and into the living room where everyone was waiting.

"Lacus are you alright?" Dearka asked, if I said yes I would be lying so I nodded instead. From the look on Kira's face he wasn't buying any of this at all, I looked around the spacious room and my eyes landed on_ her_. "Hello Ms. Athha" I said politely not wanting to be rude, she looked my way and smiled.

"You don't have to be so formal with me Lacus. Were friends right" the blonde girl said getting up from where she was sitting to give me a hug, and I hesitantly hugged her back. "Lacus how've you been?" I couldn't believe her, she's acting like nothing never happened and that were _friends._ But she isn't the only person to blame.

"Oh I'm fine; I did a little recording this week. And everything's fine". I said smiling, I rested my gaze on Athrun but his eyes wouldn't meet mine, he was probably trying to avoid me. But I decided not to push any further, hopefully he'll explain to me why he did this. "Does anyone want some tea or something?" I asked, desperate to get away from _her_, I needed to think.

"Tea would be fine" I heard Milly say from where she was seated, everyone else agreed to have some tea also. I went into the kitchen and started a fresh pot; I rested my elbows on the counter and waited for the water to bowl. "What am I doing?" I asked myself, just then Kira entered the Kitchen.

"Lacus are you alright?" he said worried.

"Don't worry I'm fine. I'm just a little tired" I told him.

"I'm worried about you" he said getting closer to me. He stood beside me and tucked a pink strand of my hair behind my ear. I smiled, he always did that. "I really missed you Lacus. It's been such a long time since we've spoken to each other" he said, his voice full of sadness. I couldn't look at him I was too ashamed to, after all it was I who took off and left him with just a note. I didn't even get a chance to explain myself. Maybe if I did stay with him I wouldn't have to put up with all the drama in my life. And if I stayed I would never be alone.

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_I crept silently out of the bed not to wake him, I hated what I was doing but I didn't love him. And I couldn't lie to him anymore. I took out my packed suitcase from under the bed, and carefully carried it out the room trying my best not to make a sound. I quickly grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a goodbye letter to him. _

_Dear, Kira_

_I'm sorry for leaving and not telling you how I felt from the start, but I'm too much of a coward to tell you. So that's why I'm writing you a letter. It even hurts writing this to you, saying I'm sorry doesn't really mean much. But I don't know what else to say. I'll never forget you and the times we shared and you'll always have your own place in my heart. But as much as it hurts to say this, apart of my heart belongs to some else. You probably know who this person is, but please don't hate him. hate me, because It's my fault for not being honest with you from the start. I never should of led you on and lied to you for so long and that I' am truly sorry for. I wish I could push theses feelings away and stay with you, but I can't. I hope we could still be friends but that hope is slight, because after you read this you probably won't want anything to do with me. But I'll understand, I won't deny that I never loved you because I did, but now that love has started to fade. You probably think that I'm selfish and I'm cold hearted, but I want to tell you that I'll never forget you Kira and you will **always** have a place in my heart._

_Love, Lacus._

_I quickly took the letter and placed it on my side of the bed. I kissed his cheek, and before leaving I took one last look at our beautiful home and was out the door._

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"Lacus, earth to Lacus", I saw Kira wave a hand in front of my face. I shook my head and he smiled. "I thought I lost you there" he said.

"Just thinking" I said ignoring the frown on his face. There was a long silence until the tea kettle started boiling. "Are you going to help me bring the tea to the living room" I said pouring tea into the cups. He didn't say anything just stare into space like a zombie. "Kira" I said snapping him out of his reverie, he looked at me and smiled. He came closer to me and brushed his thumb over my cheek.

"Lacus" he said, lust evident in his voice.

"Yes" I breathed.

"Do I still have a place in your heart?" he asked, and before I could give an answer he brought his lips down on mine. My eyes went wide, and I couldn't move. It was like my brain stopped functioning. I closed my eyes and gave into the kiss; I tangled my fingers into his unruly hair and gripped his shoulder. Just then it felt like all of existence just disappeared except for me and him, I felt like I was falling. When the kiss ended I felt dizzy and spots swam in my vision. He pulled me into his arms and was about to kiss me again when I heard my name.

"Lacus, is the tea ready?" I gently pulled away from him and went to go and serve everyone the tea. He grabbed my arm almost causing me to drop the tea tray he looked at me as if he didn't want me to go, I gently squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Will talk later, okay" I said not looking at him and taking up the tea tray and walking into the living room, living him in the kitchen.

'_What Have I done'?_

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After a long day, everyone was gone to bed. I for one couldn't sleep I tried but to many things were on my mind especially what happened early on in the kitchen. I felt so guilty and confused, why did I do that? I kept asking myself that question over and over again and still no answer. I tried forcing myself to sleep but I couldn't. Every time I would close my eyes I would always see him, and the kiss kept replaying in my mind. Frustrated I took my and bed slippers put them on and tip toed downstairs and went out the back door. The cool air felt wonderful on my over heated skin, I sat on a stone like bench facing the beautiful sea and watched as the moon reflected on the water's surface. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?" came a voice from behind me, it didn't startle me at all because I knew exactly who it was. I didn't say anything, and then I heard the person take a seat beside me.

"Why didn't you tell me she was coming, Athrun?" I said getting to the point. Did he think I wouldn't care? that I wouldn't ask him? I saw him run a hand through his hair from the corner of my eye and sighed. He wouldn't answer me. He just sat there head bowed andeyes fixed on the ground, _'If he doesn't want to talk then there's no point in me_ _staying out here'_. "Good night" I simply said, getting up and going back inside.

"I'm sorry," I heard him whisper.

I don't understand why I love him and allow him to hurt me so much, why do I give him the power to hurt me, and still welcome him with open arms. Love really does make you do crazy things. I turned back around and took a seat beside him again.

"Why?" I asked again,my eyes fixed on him but he still wouldn't look at me.

"I don't know. I-I just don't know what I'm feeling anymore, I know I love you as much as it is hard for you to believe. It's just…." He paused a moment and continued. "I still have feelings for her, and that's why I left. I needed to know how I feel about her, and I came back because of you, because I'm still in love with you and I'm just so confused" he said frustrated. He scratched the back of his head nervously and looked at me. But I wouldn't meet his gaze.

"I know how you feel, I'm confused too to the point where I don't know what to believe anymore, but I know that I love you" I said finally looking into his emerald green eyes. "But I still don't understand why she's here. I know she was probably invited to the wedding, but why didn't you tell me she was coming here? Or that Kira, Miriallia, and Dearka were coming too" he looked at me confused "It's not that I don't mind the three of them here it's just, you know how I would feel about her being here and the situation between me and you has not yetbeen resolved. "So why Athrun? Why are you hurting me so much? What have I done wrong?" I felt hot tears run down my cheeks I couldn't hold them in anymore I felt so broken so hurt. I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck and cried letting everything out not holding back anymore tears. I felt his arms encircle my waist and pull me into his lap so that I was more comfortable. He stroked my hair and made shushing sounds trying to comfort me.

Soon my cries died down to silent sobs, and I stayed in his arms until he pulled away from me. I pulled away from him a little tooso I could look into his eyes, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears and I saw a tear escape from the corner of his eye and I brushed it away with my thumb. He bent my head down to his and captured my lips in a searing kiss, I kissed him back with all the passion I could muster, my eyes widened as he deepened the kiss. He never kissed me like this before, the touch of his lips were languid and intense at the same time. It was like he was trying to tell me something through the kiss.

I gasped for air when the kissed ended, chills were running up and down my spine and my stomach felt like it was on a roller coaster. He smiled at me and rubbed his nose with mine and pulled me tightly in his embrace. I never felt like this with Kira. With Athrun I can let myself go and not worry because I feel safe in his arms, and nothing in this world could ever harm me as long as I'm with him. But has anything really been resolved? There are still so manythings I want to talk to him about, but right now I just want to enjoy this moment and hold onto it for as long as I can. I held onto him tighter and smiled feeling more content with myself and truly happy for the first in a long time.

I felt him pull away from me, and I tried to hide my frown "What's the matter?" I asked, he didn't answer me. He just stared into my eyes like he was searching for something, he face was expressionless. But then he finally smiled and stilling holding my gaze "I love you Lacus" he said passionately. I smiled at him and before I could reply he stood up and threw me over his shoulder, "Let's go back to bed, a princess like you needs her beauty sleep" he said gripping my backside playfully as we headed back inside.

"Who said we were going to sleep" I said with a mischievous grin.

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_**A/N: Not much really happened but it took me forever to write this chapter school is getting on my nerves. Next chapter is the engagement party so I will be making 1 or 2 more chapters. Anyway review and tell me what you guys think. **_


	5. Chapter 5:Part 1

**A/N: I am so sorry everyone for not updating sooner. I've been really busy, and thank you all for the reviews which motivated me and kept me writing. So thank you everyone. And for those of you who haven't noticed I changed my username from Mrs.Zala to Shuffleness.**

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**Chapter 5: Part 1**

I trailed behind the rest of the gang as they shopped around looking for something to wear to Yzak's engagement party. I almost didn't come, but Millie dragged me along claiming that I have the best opinion when it comes to fashion and looking 'hot'. But I had too many things on my mind to pay attention to anyone. We stopped at another store but I decided to have a seat on a bench outside of the store. My feet hurt and I needed to clear my head.

"Lacus aren't you coming in?" the brunette asked frowning and placing her hands on her hips.

"Ok, how about this. You find a dress you like and I'll give you my opinion on it. How does that sound," I said with a half smile.

"Ok," she sighed, and walked back into the clothing store.

I sighed in relief glad that I could finally get sometime to myself. I really needed to think, especially about what happened last night. Although Athrun had already reassured me that he loved me and that he wants to be with me, I'm still having my doubts. Nothing has really been solved. What if he doesn't tell Cagalli? What if he just said all that stuff to me last night because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings? What if he finds out about me and Kira? I touched my lips absent-mindedly. 'No get a grip, it didn't mean anything. It was an accident,' I said to myself. I buried my face in my hands. I didn't want to think about Kira right now, even though it was just a kiss Athrun would be really upset about it, and that kiss could probably ruin my chances of getting Athrun back. But I don't understand why Athrun would care. A kiss is nothing compared to what he and Cagalli must have done when he was back in Orb. I shook my head not wanting to think about _her especially, _but hopefully with a bit of luck she will be out of our lives for good. _I hope_.

Just then Kira approached me, "Hey Lacus do you know if there is a washroom around here?" he asked scratching the back of his head.

"Well if you go straight down and turn-"

"Could you just show me I don't want to get lost", he said with a sheepish grin. I nodded my head, got up and led the way. We walked in silence, I saw him glance at me from the corner of my eye. But I ignored him.

"You're awfully quiet today", he said staring at me waiting for a reply. I heard him sigh and then he stopped walking.

"Were almost th-"

"What's wrong with you?" he asked me all of a sudden.

I turned around and saw him frowning at me,

"Nothing I'm just kind of tired, we've been-"

"Don't lie", he said raising his voice a little. "Seriously Lacus, is it about the kiss?" he said whispering the last part.

I looked away from him, and he sighed again. Suddenly he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the exit of the mall. I tried to wiggly my arm out of his grasp but his grip became tighter. When we reached outside he pulled me around a corner. It was blazing hot outside and the scorching sun made it even worse. "What's wrong with you?" he asked again softly placing a hand on my cheek. I haven't even been outside for a minuet and I could feel myself sweating already.

"You have to ask," I replied dryly and swatted his hand away from my cheek. He ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"Look Lacus I'm not sorry I kissed, I know it was wrong because you're still with Athrun. But I don't regret any of it because I love-"

"Don't say it, don't say it," I said shakily. "I don't want to hear it." I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes, things are already complicated and Kira is just making things worst. I looked down at my feet trying to avoid his eyes, but he tipped my chin up with his index finger so I could look at him. Two tears slipped from the corner of my eyes and my vision started to go blurry. I felt his strong arms around me and his hot breath tickling my ear.

"Lacus, you are the only one I love…. the only one for me. When you left I didn't want to believe it. So I waited, thinking that you would come back." He said holding me tighter. "And know matter what happens I will always love you." he said softly. I kept my head down too ashamed to look at him. i felt so guilty. After all this time he still had feelings for me, but at the same time he didn't chase after me because he respected the decision I had made. He gave me everything and more. He tried so hard to make me happy, but I left him with a silly note because I was too much of a coward to tell him the truth.

"Kira I'm sorry I hurt you, but I can't be with-" he placed a finger on my lips silencing m. His mouth found mine, as he took it in a searing kiss. I pushed him away roughly, and I looked around franticly hoping that someone in particular hadn't seen our little passionate scene. "We can't keep doing this," I said. My eyes once again fixed on the ground. I looked up to the once blue sky and saw rain clouds moving swiftly, covering the shining sun and casting a shadow in the little alley we were in. I took a step back and leaned against the brick wall, my eyes still fixed on the sky. I glanced down at Kira and saw him watching me, his amethyst eyes full of sorrow. I closed my eyes and sighed. 'He probably hates me for what I did to him.' I took a deep breath to keep the tears from falling, "I'm such a horrible person," I muttered to myself. I could feel my lips trembling. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and it all came flooding out. "I'm sorry Kira, I love him," I said taking another deep breath. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. I didn't know what to do and I'm sorry……I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to end things the way I did." I said as I let the tears flow freely from my eyes.

"You think he loves you," the brown haired man said walking closer to me. I snapped my head up to look at him, wondering what he was talking about. When he was just inches from my face he repeated his question, "Do you think Athrun Loves you?" he asked again. I nodded my head not trusting my voice. He wiped a lone tear that slid down my check with the back of his thumb. "Then answer me this," he said whispering, "Why is he still with my sister?" he said raising an eyebrow. "Why would you want to be with someone who is in love with someone else? And do you think that he would still want to be with you if he found out that we kissed, **_twice_**?" Suddenly I felt anger surge inside me, and I felt the urge to rake my nails across his face.

"Are you threatening me?" I snapped. My eyes narrowing "Listen, Kira. Threatening me isn't going to change anything and besides, my love life is none of your concern. So stay out of it," I replied hotly and turned to exit the alley. Suddenly he grabbed my arm and whipped me around violently, causing my back to slam against the hard brick wall.

"Why do you love him!" he said, practically yelling in my face. He gripped my shoulders painfully, trying to hold me in place as I squirmed and tried desperately to wiggle out of his grasp. his handsome face scowling at me. I sneered back at him and yelled just as loud as he did.

"Because I do! And there's nothing you can do about," I yelled. "It's not easy to give up on the one person you ever loved, I'm sure you know that very well," I suddenly regretted what I had said, when I saw the sadness and hurt in his eyes. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw a group of people walking by staring at us.

We were silent for a while until the little group dispersed and continued to walk. Still holding each other's gazes I spoke again, "I thought you had respected the decision I made." I said softly

"I did," he answered immediately. "But why can't you see that your making a big mistake," he said sighing and his scowling face softening.

"Kira, those decisions and mistakes are mine to make, I'm not a baby. I can take care of myself." I said and his grip on my shoulders lightened.

"I know but I just don't want to see you get hurt," he said pulling me in his arms.

"Don't worry I'll be fine. Please try and respect my decision," I said my cerulean eyes pleading with his amethyst ones.

"Fine," he said sighing in defeat. "I won't interfere anymore," He replied.

I hugged him tightly and smiled, "Thank-you Kira, for understanding."

"So we ok now?" he asked. I nodded my head and smiled happily, glad that I got things cleared up with him. Finally feeling a little relieved.

"What's going on?" I heard a voice. My eyes widened and Kira quickly released me from his embrace knowing who it was.

I looked over to Athrun calmly, thinking of an excuse to tell him. "Nothing, we were just talking," I said trying to keep my voice light. He walked closer to me and held my face in his hands and inspected me closely.

"Then why were you crying?" he asked and frowned at Kira. We were quiet for a moment, as Athrun looked from me to Kira waiting for an answer.

"Would someone care to tell me what happened," he said raising his voice, causing me too flinch a little from the tone in his voice. He looked down at me and I looked away ignoring his gaze. "What happened here?" he asked. He held my arm and rolled the sleeve of my t-shirt up to reveal a ring of light bluish-greenish bruises around my upper arm. He lightly touched it with his index and frowned when I winced. He looked at me questioningly and his eyes widened when I didn't answer. I looked up at him and I saw him glaring at Kira. His emerald eyes full of anger. "He did this to you didn't he," he replied angrily.

"I-it was a misunder-"

That was all he needed to hear, as his hand slowly slid down my arm. I looked up at him and saw the blaze and fury in his eyes. He stared down at me and I could feel the panic flare inside me. I've never seen him look this upset and it frightened me. My eyes became wide and as I stared into his fiery green ones. I heard the thunder roar from the sky above and felt the rain coming down as it began to pour, my clothes almost fully drenched and clinging to my skin. I gently placed my cool trembling fingers on his heated skin and felt his whole body stiffen. "Athrun," I whispered

"He hit you," was all I heard before he dashed after Kira with his fist positioned and ready to kill.

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**A/N: Ok everyone that was just part 1 of chapter 5. I was going to write one whole big chapter but I decided to split it into 2 parts, So stay tuned for part 2 which I will try and get up ASAP. And for those of you who are Kira fans don't worry I will not kill him or badly injure him, because I'm a Kira fan too so don't worry . Plz R&R Thanks.**


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